Monsters. Vampires. Werewolves. You name it. Kids will create it in their imagination and suddenly your peaceful little sleeper is terrified of the dark. While you are trying to put them to bed, to cling to you as if their lives depend on it. You know that monsters are not real. That the dark is not scary, but your child is crashing out over being left alone, in their room, in the dark. If this sounds like your day-to-day evening routine, you’ve landed in the right place. 

Is Your Child Afraid of the Dark?

Eventually, most toddlers and young children go through a stage where they are afraid of the dark. It is a normal stage of childhood development. It can cause serious sleep disruptions, including bedtime resistance, middle of the night wakings, and early mornings. Is your child afraid of the dark? Find our 8 tips to help your child build confidence and sleep peacefully through the night.

8 Tips to Address Fears

Tip #1: Understanding the Cause of the Fear

Start by trying to understand the root of fear. Are they afraid of it being dark? Are they afraid of monsters or struggling with separation anxiety? It is easy to assume that your child is afraid of the dark when you leave them in a dark room. Make sure you uncover where the fear stems from so you can address it. 

Tip #2: Acknowledge Feelings 

It’s incredibly important to acknowledge your child’s feedings and acknowledge fear. Using phrases like, “I hear you are scared” without reinforcing the fear can be powerful. You are making your child feel that they are heard. “I hear you are scared, but you are safe in your room,” can be a powerful matter-of-face reassurance. 

Tip #3: Create a Calming Space

Depending on your child’s age, you can give them the freedom to pick a nightlight to help alleviate the darkness. Most children around the age of 3 can handle light in their room without the light disrupting their sleep. Use a soft, warm tone if you can. The warmer tones reduce shadows which can spark new fears. Let your child choose a stuffie or blanket they love to sleep with. Put up pictures of you and other family members they love to give them comfort throughout the night. 

Tip #4: Playful Exposure

Shift the darkness into something fun! Read under a blanket with a flashlight or create shadow puppet stories. Have a glow-stick dance party!!! Begin to help your child associate the dark with delight instead of fear. 

Orion and the Dark is one of my favorite bedtime stories that addresses fear of the dark. Books are a great way for children to make connections. 

Tip #5: Role Play

Role playing works really well for toddlers. Sit with your child and have him or her get their favorite toy (stuffed animal, barbie, action figures). Start by having them act out how they should go to bed, act overnight, and act in the morning. Make sure to praise the toy when they go to bed easily and if they fight going to bed, ask your child to help them go to sleep. Praise your child for helping them. Role playing can be a great way to address fears. 

Tip #6: Set Clear, Loving Boundaries

Creating boundaries and rules around overnight sleep can help your child understand what their expectations are. We have clear rules for children during the day on what they can and can not do. Some children need that same structure at night. 

Tip 7: Reinforce Success with Praise and Rewards

Positive reinforcement goes a long way with toddlers. Creating a simple reward chart (sticker chart) or system to reinforce positive behaviors and discuss boundaries can be incredibly helpful. Visuals help toddlers have success. 

Tip #8: Monitor External Triggers

Avoid “scary” books, shows, or movies, especially leading into bedtime. Eliminate screens at least an hour before bedtime routine starts. Also, make sure you limit sugar or sugary snacks before bedtime as well. All of these factors can fuel fears and disrupt sleep. 

Many children go through a phase of being afraid of the dark. If these fears persist, causing extreme distress, and produce daytime anxiety, reach out for help! Consult with a pediatrician first, as always, to ensure that your child is getting support tailored to their specific needs. With patience and confidence, you can help your child face their fears and reclaim a peaceful night of the whole family.

Sleep Shore Sleep Consulting

Is your little one having difficulty overcoming nighttime fears? If your child is unable to fall asleep, stay asleep, or wake up at a normal time, it may be time to consider sleep training. Sleep Shore offers personalized solutions for each unique sleeping situation to get your little one on track- whether they’re a newborn, infant, or toddler. We also offer in home sleep training services in the Boston, Massachusetts, Central Michigan (Midland, Clare, Mt. Pleasant) and Traverse City, Michigan. Sleep training offers babies and children with the skills to fall asleep on their own so they can wake up feeling more well-rested- and in turn, you’ll feel more energized, too! See what this mama had to say about our sleep services below: 

“Danielle has been an absolute lifesaver for our family! She helped our almost 3-year-old overcome a challenging sleep regression with patience and personalized strategies that truly worked. At the same time, she guided our 5-year-old to become more independent at bedtime, giving us much-needed peace of mind. Danielle’s expertise, compassion, and practical advice made a world of difference, and we couldn’t be more grateful for her support. Highly recommend!”

Mom of 3.5 Year Old